Is understood by few,
misunderstood by many
they have no idea how I think such things…
Let me clue you in on some of it…
“my head has a water park in it”,translation is I have a plumbing issue that only a neurosurgeon can maintain….
When looking someone straight in the eyes..”Who are you looking at …?First of all I can look at you with one eye …and play dot to dot on the wall to my left ,with the other one….”It’s impossible ,to straighten these eyes”…let me close the one I hardly use…..translation ,the lazy eye…it just hangs around attached to my face …. …so I appear somewhat “normal”.
Answering a telemarketer’s phone call:”Hi this is Amy Whatshername…..I am calling on behalf of …So and So Inc…I am calling to ask you if you would like to give me your opinion on things that matter in current events today.”Are you “Ms. Pronounced Myname”?May I speak to the aformentioned…..?Care to complete a brief survey ?Well hello Amy,who wants to know? First before I complete your survey,I need to ask you to complete a survey of mine if you have the time….Do you care to ………….(CLICK-telemarketer hangs up!) They hardly think that one is funny….
Q:Are you Christian?A: “Well YES I AM…..my blood type is ICXC-NIKA! any other questions?
Q:Do you attend church?A: I have in the past ,I would like to again,how much do you charge for mileage?
This one is my personal favorite:WHICH party affiliation do you claim? You mean there’s a party? And they want to be affiliated with ME? cool….. LET ME ALERT THE PRESS… as if they have nothing else to talk about than MY party affiliations ….. ( I just thought of the last several ones here…)…(Author busts out laughing….)