To speak from within, from the depths of my being, is quite a challenge some days,because I would much rather skim the surface.
I am as afraid of depths, as I am of heights. To be anything but level, can leave one hanging from that precipice, in danger of sinking to the chasm below.
I fought with myself today. I decided that my initial thought was to stay away from external people, places and things. “Please excuse Terrelyn today from the spontaneous outing,because she’s not quite certain how she’d react?”
Then I thought about it. The recipient of the message assured me it was okay, but somehow I knew it wouldn’t be. I assumed that I would know her thoughts other than her “assurance “.
There was the start of that fight within.
I realized that it was me who was the one whose assumption needed challenging.
The recipient said she was on her way with kids in tow. At that time,I decided to tell her that I was on my way.
With that in stone,I walked to that park.
She made it within 15 minutes of my arrival. I addressed the kids,yet we only stayed for about an hour. I decided to tag along with them to their house. Spent the good part of the afternoon there,and then walked home.
No,I didn’t do anything, no tasks ,except focus on just being there with my family.
Maybe later I will do something which is under the category of productive tasking. Or not.