True grit comes from standing one’s ground with determination, fortitude. I have had to fight many battles in my life. First one was a physical one. I didn’t fight that one on my own. God helped me. He put people where He needed them to be….not where they demanded to be.People are insistent that I am ungrateful for things that they chose to do FOR me. Did I ask? No. I understand that when I was younger, I had to have someone else speak on my behalf. I get that. Because at times, I was incapable. I thank those who did what they chose to do. Do I owe them my life? No. I owe God my very life. I admit when I was younger, I was immature. Most of us are. I went through things that I had to, to help me to grow. No one was designated as my “designated thinker”. I was responsible for those things I did wrong. I am responsible for those things I do wrong. I am not responsible for what another does wrong of their own choice. If they regret a choice they made willingly, am I at fault? If I affect their choice, by whatever means… am I guilty of the whole offense even to that which compelled them to do it? Mea culpa?
I punished myself for too long. I was relentless. I couldn’t forgive myself. I was taught I was unworthy to forgive myself. How? By people reminding me of my past mistakes….repeating how they “rescued” me by their own choosing. I answered a then 9-year-old niece’s plea, by signing my daughter over to them. I did so because I knew it was the right thing to do for my daughter. Do I punish her for it? No. Do I make her sign I love you in her own blood…. as a person would sign a deed of ownership??Hell NO!!!!!!I learned from MY MISTAKES. If I want to have love in my life I shall have it. Not by anyone else’s designs. God’s Love is Unconditional. He corrects me in love.
I have seen what people have helped me with…. and I guess for some.Thank you isn’t enough! They need much more. I don’t know what else to say except send me the bill… and once it’s paid… don’t ever bring it up again.