I had felt alone even around my family, and friends.I cannot explain it. Did I want certain things to STOP? Yes. I did.I wanted to have people who wouldn’t always call me when they were depressed, had problems, and drama. They would fill my mind with gossip. They would tell me how they hated the behaviors of others. I can understand all these things.
What I cannot understand is ….what was so damned special about me?I admit I would call in the past…and do the same things…somewhere along the line, it has to stop. I am not a counselor, though I would joke about being one. How can I when I have my own things to deal with.
Why do they justify it? I have heard over the years how difficult a person’s life has become… It is resultant of a choice. Good and bad. We all made them. We deal with it.
When I go to someone’s home, do I want to hear cursing all the time? No. Do I want the latest gossip in their family about how someone is just so bad…..etc?Do I want to hear about politics? No. I want not to be stuck in a conversation about the latest fad…etc. So, if I am there, I look for a task.
The tasks I choose take the focus off of them. That way I am not sucked into the gossip-vortex.When that starts, I look for the exits. Quickly!
Let me stop for a second and ask, is this also a form of gossip? Please, whoever reads this answer if you can!
I learned how to Table talk from an early age….I heard it at my family’s own table. They would label it as a discussion…People would sit around and curse in front of their own kids, and if the child blurted it out, THEY were in trouble? Adults can get away with it, but kids cannot?
Sounds to me like a bunch of adults need a refresher course in manners. If I entered their house as a guest, what right do I have? If I don’t like something, the only right I have is to get up and leave, and I would be percieved as rude? Things in my family tend to bend toward their self-justification of their own behaviors. When I would challenge them on it….I am the bad one.. they want to know name date etc, and by the time I get done naming all that, they have prepared their answer.The date shouldn’t be nearly as important as the fact as there was a problem with the behavior…period. I don’t want to be invited to a gossip fest. I don’t want to have girl talk disguising interrogatory comments of nature, that they can say, I have known you all your life, so I can grill you…? That’s disguised as concern.
People would eventually tell me to handle my own problems in not so many words and stop leaning too damned hard on them. I got to handle only mine. Someone needed to handle theirs. I am no longer the “voice of reason” for people who want to stay in the pool that they can get out of…. If they want to. I had given of my time freely…. and I end up being tormented by what others tell me? OK. I love people…. I do love my family… and my friends… but it’s high time they deal with their realities. If I have to, so do they.