That’s what a person with Intermittent Explosive Disorder ,has to deal with. And from personal experience , that is me .I can only attest to what I know. I don’t give a flying frisbee what the psycho- cliques think personally about my sudden fiery dispositions ,aimed at a target they think I shouldn’t see or attack.They don’t see what’s attacking me . Simply thinking something is not that simple . There are images,memories ,smells ,and words that can trigger an onslaught.
They can turn a seemingly docile individual into a ferocious beast. Trust me ,I know. Some have called me ,and adequately enough ,the word fits, a “banshee”. Those beings are described in Celtic folklore as ones who herald and “impending death”, of someone close tied to the clan. Ring my doorbell,and if I am not expecting you, I can come out screaming like a Banshee. One thing I am aware of that others do dismiss, is the effect of it on me.I also have adjustment disorder..Yeah go ahead and laugh , go ahead and tell me how faithless I am. I dare you. People tend to be less compassionate if it’s something someone requests because they want to proactively diffuse the situation. I have been told from a certain standpoint I am demanding …yeah , I demand certain things,be done by me .Why? It’s my problem to start with.I will FIX ME .And if I cannot ,what makes you think YOU’RE better at it?
The more they try to put out the fire , the angrier I get , because ,I know know that beast needs to be tamed,they don’t realize ,I trained it ,taught it everything it knows.Because of their well-intentioned idea,is met with imperfect timing and lack of knowledge about me,they get burned. It is not my intention at all. Sometimes,the best way to extinguish a fire is to let it burn itself out…. under controlled circumstances.
Think about that .If you want. I take a very aggressive position and proactively try to handle my “psychosis” and or neurosis on my own . If I need help I will solicit the request. Call me stubborn. Yes, I am that also.
Too much fire????